The first step in learning to crochet is how to hold the hook and yarn. It is often a struggle for beginners, and many give up at this point...which is a shame. It is hard in the beginning while you are learning, and it does take a lot of practise and patience. But everyone who perseveres, gets there in the end.
Let me assure you, there is no right or wrong way. Everyone needs to find what is the most comfortable for them.
You need to start by holding your hook in your dominant hand. I'm right-handed, so hold my hook with my right hand. Below are the two most common ways to hold the crochet hook.
Pencil Hold
The pencil hold is just like holding a pencil when you write. You need to hold the hook between your thumb and forefinger around 3-5cm from the hook end. If the hook has a flat section, you may find it more comfortable to hold it there.
Knife Hold
Holding the Yarn
Holding the yarn is different for everyone, but it is important as it affects the tension of your crochet. Correct tension is necessary for even stitches that are not too tight, or too loose.
You hold the yarn in your non-dominant hand (the hand opposite to the one holding the hook) and have the yarn draped over the index finger. This finger manipulates the yarn. The crochet work is then held between the thumb and middle finger.
Some people prefer to manipulate the yarn with the middle finger and hold their crochet project with their thumb and index finger.
As I'm right handed, I have the yarn sitting on my left side, and let the yarn slide through my fingers as I'm working my crochet. Some people like to wind the yarn around their pinky finger to control the tension a little more.
Again, with practise you will find what works best for you. While you're learning, if one way feels better, use it! But there is no reason why you can't change if you find something works better for you down the track.
The above information is just two of the most common holds for both the hook and yarn. You might find something totally different that works better for you, and that's totally OK. The more you practise, the more you will find what works best for you.
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